


You never forget your first

by Space_Violets



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Sam Wilson, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Communication, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Gay Bucky Barnes, Healthy Relationships, Homophobia, M/M, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sharing a Bed, no beta we die like old man steve, references to Buckys torture, sam and the OC are barely shown romantically but they are talked about for a bit, tw for hospitals and injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29875074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_Violets/pseuds/Space_Violets
Summary: The story of Bucky and Sam getting together in a series of firsts.Excerpt:The first time Sam hugged Bucky, they had recently moved into an apartment together.Sam grabbed his laptop from the dining room table where Bucky had left it the night before. He sat on their couch and pulled up google, planning on looking up movie times at their local theater. He paused after typing the first two letters of AMC theatres because a recent search popped up.Am I gay?Sam stilled, his brain unable to process what he was seeing.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson (Marvel)/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 142





	You never forget your first

**Author's Note:**

> Happy less than two weeks until TFATWS!!! I'm honestly super proud of this story so I hope you like it! Canon compliant except it lives in the good version of the timeline (in my head) where Bucky was acquitted of his crimes between Black Panther and Infinity War :)

**The first time they shared a room was two weeks after they started working together.**

“Are you sure there aren’t any other rooms available?” Sam asked the motel clerk as he grabbed his wallet and handed her his credit card. 

“Sorry,” she replied. “Been busy since the blip. Lots of people need a place to stay while they get their life sorted. And we offer weekly and monthly specials. You need two keys?” Sam nodded his head and grabbed key cards from her extended hand before muttering his thanks. 

“Only one room left, 211.” Sam told Bucky who was waiting next to their car, both their duffels in his hand. He could see the other man clench his jaw for a moment before he immediately relaxed again. 

“Did you see a waffle maker in the breakfast area?” 

“That’s what you’re worried about? You’re so weird.” Sam rolled his eyes. 

“You know I don’t like cereal.” Bucky replied, walking up the stairs to their room. Sam tried to bite back his laugh but was unsuccessful. 

Three hours later, after ordering takeout and making a plan for their stakeout the next day, Sam grabbed his duffel bag and pulled out his sweatpants. “What side of the bed do you want?” he asked, his back to the other man. Bucky shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m not sleeping.” Sam turned around and locked their eyes. 

“Why not?”

“I thrash in my sleep. And I’m not tired. If I have to I’ll sleep on the floor.” Sam wanted to argue with him but he let him be. 

“As long as you bring your A game tomorrow…” Sam started before he noticed Bucky rolling his eyes. 

“I once went four days on three hours of sleep as the Winter Soldier. I’ll be fine.” 

“Don’t watch me sleep Barnes.” Sam warned before heading into the bathroom. 

“Why would I watch you when I have Netflix? Weirdo!” Bucky called after him. 

  
  
  


**The first time they shared a bed was exactly one day later.**

“We’re leaving tomorrow! I’m fine! The mission is over, what are you so worried about?” Bucky muttered, his eyes drooping slightly.

“Because today was exhausting, we have a 6 hour drive tomorrow, and you need to get used to this possibility if we continue working together.”

“I can’t.” Bucky all but whispered. “It’s fine, like I said.” He turned and began rummaging through his bag. 

“What are you so afraid of?” Sam asked him eventually. Bucky turned back around. 

“Becoming him okay?” He ran a hand through his hair before speaking again. “Becoming the Hydra version of me and hurting you in my sleep.” 

“Buck.” Sam’s features softened. “Has that happened before?”

“Well…” Bucky shook his head. “I haven’t shared a bed or a room with anyone since… you know. But I have dreams, nightmares that I’m him. I just don’t want to risk hurting you.”

“I trust you.” Sam blurted out before his brain actually let him think. Because the truth was, he did. Yes, Bucky was a trained assassin supersoldier with a metal arm. But they we’re partners. Friends even, on days when they didn’t completely get on each other's nerves. 

“Fine” Bucky said after giving it some thought. He reached into his bag and pulled out a small metal rod, immediately sticking it into part of his metal arm. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Shuri installed a feature that allows me to turn off the arm’s super strength. Makes it like a regular arm. She also made it very hard to reach so an enemy couldn’t use it against me.” Bucky smiled as he finally hit the button. “Now you can easily take me in a fight. Or just shoot me in the head, whatever.” 

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” Sam replied, “Stomach maybe, if you piss me off.” Bucky huffed out a laugh and went to lay on the bed. 

“Goodnight Sam.” 

“Night Buck.” 

Sam awoke a few hours later to what felt like the bed vibrating. He reached for the phone under his pillow but realized the vibration was coming from Bucky who was shaking like a leaf. Sam heard whispers of “I’m sorry.” and “It won’t happen again” as he moved to get closer to the other man. 

“Fucking Hydra” he muttered, putting his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Barnes, wake up.” He shook him lightly before speaking again. “Bucky, it’s just a dream.” Instead of waking up, Bucky let out a horrifying noise, like the scream of a wounded animal. Sam stilled, then cursed under his breath. He knew exactly what Bucky was dreaming about, he’d seen the video in the Winter Soldier file. He shook him violently but Bucky continued to shake, thrash, and apologize in his sleep. Sam bit his lip and got out of bed, crossing the room to the bathroom. “This is probably a bad idea,” he mumbled to himself. He grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with cold water, crossed the room, and poured it on Bucky’s face. 

“Ahhh what the hell” Bucky sat up instantly, pupils clearly dilated in fear. 

“You were screaming, I couldn’t wake you. I’m sorry.” Sam told him, before Bucky immediately jumped to his feet.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, grabbing different parts of Sam’s body and checking for injuries. Sam swatted him away.

“You didn’t even touch me. It’s all good.” Bucky huffed a sigh of relief. “You wanna talk about it?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“You want to go get some candy from that 24 hour gas station with me?” Bucky smiled. 

“Sure” 

  
  


**The first time Sam hugged Bucky, they had recently moved into an apartment together.**

Sam grabbed his laptop from the dining room table where Bucky had left it the night before. He sat on their couch and pulled up google, planning on looking up movie times at their local theater. He paused after typing the first two letters of _AMC theatres_ because a recent search popped up. 

_Am I gay?_

Sam stilled, his brain unable to process what he was seeing. The only person who used this laptop besides him was Barnes. Which meant he had googled that question. He knew he shouldn’t but he went to the computer’s search history and looked at Bucky’s recent history. Sam felt heat rising to his cheeks as he looked, feeling a little weird about intruding onto Bucky’s internet usage. 

_Am I gay?_

_Bisexuality definition_

_Aesthetic vs sexual attraction_

_Compulsory heterosexuality_

_Am I gay quiz_

Sam slammed the laptop shut. This was definitely none of his business and Bucky was due back from therapy any minute now. The last thing he needed was Bucky to think he didn’t respect his privacy. He bit his lip. He wanted to talk to him about it though, wanted him to know he was there for him the way he wished the people in his life were there for him when he first realized he was bisexual. 

He turned on the TV and tried to think about how to approach the conversation. Twenty minutes later the door opened and Bucky walked in, plastic grocery bag in hand. “I got you those chips you like from the gas station.” He threw them at Sam who caught them without looking up from the tv. 

“Thanks Buck.” He looked up and saw him opening a pack of twizzlers. His eyes were a little puffy and Sam assumed he was late because he’d been crying. “I’m watching game shows if you want to join me.” Bucky smiled. 

“Yeah, that sounds awesome.” Thirty minutes later Sam finally got the nerve to bring up what had been on his mind for nearly an hour. He muted the tv once the episode ended and turned to face Bucky. 

“Can I talk to you about something?” Bucky gave him a confused look. 

“Of course.”

“I know you’re still learning when it comes to technology.” Sam cleared his throat, realizing how nervous he was. “But uh… you need to clear your google search history. Because what you’ve searched will-”

“Fuck” Bucky muttered, rising to his feet. “I’m sorry Sam I-” He bit his lip, unable to find the words he wanted. Sam noticed a pink tint rising to his cheeks. 

“It’s okay Bucky.” Sam moved to stand in front of the other man. “If you want to talk about it I’m here. If you need time, that’s fine. But if anyone knows what you’re going through it’s me. And if you figure out you’re gay or bi or whatever, I’ll be here to welcome you to the community.” Bucky gave a faint smile, tears pooling at his eyes. 

“I just can't...yet” He whispered. Sam pulled him into a hug. 

“It’s okay.” 

(Bucky came out to him as gay a few weeks later. Sam hugged him again.) 

**The first time they called each other their best friend, they were at a bar after a successful mission.**

“Sharon text you back?” Sam asked as he took a seat next to Bucky, sliding the man a cocktail. 

“She bailed on us again.” Bucky replied, taking the drink and plucking the miniature umbrella off the top. “What the hell is this.” 

“It’s called a decoration.” Sam replied. “Not that you would know, given the state of your room.” Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“What’s the point of decorating if we could get compromised and have to move at any given time.” He took a sip of his drink and made a face. 

“We talked about this Buck.” Sam gave him a smile before continuing, “It’s not a safehouse. It’s an apartment. Permanent until we move out. It’s safe.” 

“Right.” Bucky said sarcastically. “Anyways…” A mischievous smile played on Bucky’s lips. “If you want to invite your boyfriend to celebrate with us, that would be cool.” Sam nearly choked on his drink. 

“What?” He spluttered. “I don’t have a-” 

“Supersoldier hearing, remember? Your window squeaks and I can hear him every time he climbs up the fire escape. I don’t know why you don’t just have him use the front door.” Sam felt heat rising to his cheeks. 

“Is that all you heard or-” 

“Jesus Wilson.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “I put headphones in if I have to. But I want to meet him. Make sure he’s good enough for you.” Sam played with the straw in his drink before he finally met Bucky’s eyes again. 

“Okay fine but it’s last minute and I can’t guarantee he’ll want to come.” Bucky flashed him a smile, poking his tongue out slighly. 

“I invited him while you we’re getting drinks. Here’s your phone back by the way.” Bucky handed him the phone and winked. Sam sighed, pulling up Matt’s text message thread. Sure enough Bucky had asked him, as Sam, to come meet them. Matt had enthusiastically agreed. _I’m so glad you’re ready for me to meet one of your friends._ He said he would be there in 15 minutes… about 15 minutes ago. 

“You know how easy it would be for me to kill you right?” Sam huffed out, pretending to be way more annoyed than he actually was. “Workplace hazards and all that.” Bucky rolled his eyes dramatically.

“You would hate being partners with anyone else and you know it.” Before Sam could think of a clever response, he caught the glimpse of Matt who was scanning the area. Sam waved him down and pulled him into a hug once he joined them. He extended his arm to Bucky.

“Hi, I’m Matt.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Bucky replied. “Buck-” 

“Bucky Barnes yeah, wow. I followed your case. I mean, I studied it, at school. Your acquittal was announced while I was writing my thesis.” 

“You’re a lawyer?” Bucky asked. 

“Therapist actually, I specialize in people with severe PTSD. Specifically people who’ve been kidnapped or held hostage for long periods of time. Hence why your trial was of interest to me. How has your transition back been?” 

“Oh you know. Not being a war criminal has its perks.” Bucky let out a forced laugh. “So how did you two meet?” The awkwardness ceased then, as the couple told him about their chance encounter at a bookstore. And Bucky and Sam were able to tell some, heavily watered down, work stories. About thirty minutes later, Bucky stood up. “You guys want anything from the bar? I’m gonna see if they have food.” The two men shook their heads. 

“His serum gives him this insanely high metabolism, just like Steve. He always keeps snacks around the apartment in the weirdest places.” Bucky heard Sam say, unaware that Bucky could still hear them. He glanced back and noticed Matt had grabbed their hands, lacing their fingers together. He smiled as he approached the bartender, inquiring about food. He was pulled from looking at the menu when he heard shouting from across the room. He turned around and saw three men standing around Sam who was using his body as a shield to protect Matt. 

“You need to leave.” One of the men said as Bucky ran to the scene. 

“Leave me the fuck alone.” Sam snarled, his fists clenched at his side. 

“What’s going on?” Bucky asked. 

“We don’t accept your kind here.” Another one spoke. “Get lost fa-” Bucky’s metal fist collided with the man before he could get the slur out, causing him to fall over onto the floor. The crunching sound told him he definitely broke his nose. He reached for Bucky’s legs but he quickly saw the motion and kicked him in the stomach. The man held up his hands as if to say he was done fighting. 

“If anyone else has an issue with my best friend, you can take it up with my fist. You understand?” Bucky practically shouted. The two other men glanced at each other and ultimately decided against the fight. They lifted their friend up from the floor and headed to the front door. Before he knew what was happening, Sam had pulled him through a side entrance. He could feel himself shaking, fists clenched. 

“I need you to take a deep breath. There’s no more danger, it’s just the three of us again okay?” Sam put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder as the man nodded his head and closed his eyes. After a few moments he opened them again. 

“Oh god I didn’t…” 

“You just broke his nose. And he’s an asshole who deserved it.” 

“And you’re both okay?” Bucky asked, looking both of them over for injuries. Sam laughed. 

“We’re fine. We probably shouldn’t stick around though. In case one of them calls the cops.” He turned to Matt. “I’ll meet you at your car, okay? Just give me a second.” Matt nodded and headed down the street after shaking Bucky’s hand again. 

“Sorry if I overreacted. I’m good now,” Bucky said. Sam just smiled and shook his head. 

“You’re my best friend too you know. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned and started walking down the street but stopped after a few steps and turned back around. “What did you think of him?” 

“He’s nice but-” Bucky ran his hand through his hair. “A therapist? Really?” 

“You know I was never actually a therapist, right?” Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“Could have fooled me.”

  
  


**The first time Bucky hugged Sam was a few weeks later.**

Bucky heard the door of his apartment opening and reached for the knife in his pocket on instinct, his hand stilling when he saw Sam walk through the door. “You’re early.” He commented, his eyes falling back onto the tv. “Did you have to cancel your date?” 

“He, uh…” Sam hung his keys on the hook next to the door. “Matt broke up with me.” 

“Shit Sam.” Bucky moved to stand up. “I’m really sorry.” Sam just shook his head. 

“It’s okay. I um… he… he knew I wasn’t as invested as I should be. I um… yeah.” Sam lowered his eyes. Bucky crossed the short distance between them. 

“I’m sorry Sam. But you’re an amazing guy. And any guy or girl would be lucky to date you. It’s his loss, truly.” Sam gave him a half smile. 

“Thank you Buck.” Bucky took another step forward and wrapped his arms around the other man. When they let go Bucky gave Sam a smile. 

“Let me take you to dinner. It’ll cheer you up.” 

“Yeah man, that would be awesome.” 

  
  


**The first time they held hands was at a hospital.**

“Hey Cap, I found the hostage. Building C. Assholes are all out but I…” Bucky gritted his teeth. “But I need backup to get her out. I’m down.” He moved to untie the woman’s legs and arms, his flesh arm shaking. She didn’t speak, a terrified look permanently painted on her face “My friends will get you out of here, I promise” he told her, placing his hand on his stomach. He glanced down. Blood. Way too much blood. 

He passed out. 

When he came to, Sharon was walking the witness out of the building and Sam was kneeling over him, one hand putting pressure on his wound. “I need emergency evac to building C. Winter is down, gunshot to the stomach.” Bucky opened his eyes and saw Sam’s face flood with relief. 

“Sam?”

“Bucky oh thank god. You’re gonna be okay, the medical team will be here in a few minutes.” 

“Don’t make me go to the hospital.” Bucky whispered. 

“I’m sorry Bucky. I know that it’s a huge trigger for you but you’ve lost a lot of blood. If we don’t get you to a hospital, you’re going to die.” 

“Then stay with me?” 

“Of course.” Bucky noticed the corners of his vision going black. 

“I’m sorry. I know I should have called for backup but I thought there were only a few of them.”

“It’s okay.” Bucky could have sworn he saw tears in Sam’s eyes. 

When he woke again he could hear machines beeping and indistinct chatter. He took a deep breath, the panic already rising to his chest. “Bucky?” Sam’s voice pulled him into the present. He opened his eyes and gave Sam a small smile. 

“You stayed.” Sam let out an almost hysterical laugh. 

“Of course I stayed you asshole.” He reached his hand up and intertwined their fingers. “I thought I was going to lose you.” Bucky’s panic started to subside with the contact. 

“You’re never going to lose me.” 

**The first time they kissed was after a mission gone bad.**

“I don’t know why you’re so pissed at me.” Sam’s shoulders tensed and he turned to face Bucky. 

“Really? You want to have this conversation right now?” 

“That mission going south was nowhere near being my fault and you know it.” Bucky stated, looking Sam in the eye. 

“Thats- you think that's why I’m mad?” Bucky gave him a weird look. 

“Yes?” Sam turned his back and started to walk away.

“I can’t do this today.” He muttered under his breath. Bucky grabbed his arm and shoved him against the wall. 

“Talk to me Wilson.” He snarled before taking a deep breath. “Please?” He whispered. Bucky’s hand was still on Sam’s shoulder and they were mere inches apart. Bucky could swear he could feel the heat of Sam’s words when he finally snapped. 

“You. Are. So. Fucking. Reckless. It’s like you don’t have any concern about if you live or die. You put yourself in danger when you don’t need to. You take hits for other people all the time. You’re going to get yourself killed!” 

“My arm is vibranium Sam, you know those bullets wouldn’t have hurt me.” 

“My wings can stop bullets too. Do you think I’m incapable of doing my job?” Sam huffed. A sad look crossed Bucky’s face. 

“Of course not.” 

“Then why?” 

“Because I’m expendable okay?” Bucky raised his voice. “You have people that care about you. The world cares about you. I don’t have that.” He crowded even further into Sam’s space. “So I’m sorry if my being reckless bothers you but I couldn’t live with myself if you died.” 

Sam grabbed the collar of Bucky’s shirt and bridged the small gap between them and crashed their lips together. Bucky stilled for a few seconds before wrapping his arms around Sam’s waist, deepening the kiss. Sam pulled back and rested his forehead against Bucky’s. 

“Don’t you ever say no one cares about you, okay?” 

“Okay.” Bucky breathed before bringing their mouths together for a softer kiss. 

**The first time they said “I love you” was on one of their rare days off.**

They laid in Sam’s bed, fingers intertwined, Bucky’s head resting on the other man's chest. “What do you want to do when all of this is over?” Sam asked, his voice low. 

“Hmmm?” 

“Can’t be a superhero forever Buck. Do you know what you want to do after?” He felt Bucky smile against him. 

“When I was recovering in Wakanda, they gave me a small farm to live on. I raised goats and chickens. Had a small garden. I went to a farmers market and sold my produce once a week. I’d like to do that again someday. Have a homestead with a cabin maybe.” 

“Bucky-” 

“I know it’s super lame.” He chuckled nervously. “I doubt I’d ever be able to make it happen.” 

“Bucky, I was going to say that I think that’s awesome. And I could be down for a cabin in the woods with you.” Bucky lifted his head to look Sam in the eyes and smiled. 

“Really?” 

“We have to be at least an hour from a city though.” Sam brought his hand up to Bucky's face, rubbing his thumb over Bucky’s cheekbone. Bucky laughed. 

“You got it.” He brought their lips together,giving him a soft kiss. “I love you Sam. I love you so fucking much.” 

“I love you too Bucky.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave me prompt ideas as well as any other comments!!


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